This I knew, but I was neither willing nor able to do; especially since, in my thoughts of thee, thou wast not thyself but only an empty fantasm.

我知道这一点， 但我既不愿意也做不到；尤其是，在我对你的思念中， 你不再是你自己， 而只是一个空洞的幻想。

If I tried to cast off my burden on this fantasm, that it might find rest there, it sank through the vacuum and came rushing down again upon me.

如果我试图摆脱这个幻想的负担，让它在那里找到休息， 它就会穿过真空， 再次冲向我。