It may appear that if you could only eliminate the negative or destructive cycles, then all would be well and the relationship would flower beautifully — but alas, this is not possible.

看起来，如果你只能消除消极或破坏性的循环，那么一切都会好起来， 关系也会开花结果——但是， 唉，这是不可能的。

Scientists have found that although we are prone to snap overreactions, if we take a moment and think about how we are likely to react, we can reduce or even eliminate the negative effects of our quick, hard-wired responses.

虽然我们易于快速地做出过度反应，但是如果我们花点时间考虑一下我们可能做出的反应，就可以减少，甚至是消除我们快速、本能的反应所带来的消极影响。